The flies on the wall can talk. Forensic entomologist Nick Polchack is listening...
Ohhhhh! I LOVE that! The bug man series is about a really funny, well, really funny doesn’t really capture it… let me start over. The main character in the bug man series is a mentally disturbed/deranged, insensitive, borderline psychopath. Yeah, that sounds more like it! He is a forensic entomologist. In other words… well, to put it bluntly, he studies the ways different bugs grow in decaying flesh, or, he studies bugs in dead people. It may sound gross, but… it is. A little… Anyway! The series isn’t exactly a kids series, but the author is a Christian so the books a relatively speaking ‘clean’. The reason I say relatively, is not because they are inappropriate, but because they ARE murder mysteries and that means, like… bad guys and stuff…? Nothing new! Accept Nick he is new and fresh and original, I LOVE HIM! Ironically he shares a name with another person I L-O-V-E, Nick Jonas!!!!!! A funny thing that happened to me while I was reading the fourth book, Less Than Dead, was that this cute little bug landed on my page and as flipped it he crossed over to the next page and settled on the name Nick, like he knew Nick loved bugs! Sorry, I go on lots of bunny trails, but they all lead to the same hole! What my point was, was, The Bug Man series is extremely funny and would recommend it in a heartbeat to anyone I know!
1.Using the hair dryer in the tub. (Because you will get all tingly inside before you die.)
2.Buying a pet mouse when you already have a pet boa-constrictor at home. (Because you will miss it when it is in your snakes tummy.)
3.Pretending to be a bomb. (Because you might pretend to hard and explode.)
4.Eating everything in your path. (Because you will eat all your friends… )
5.Inviting your secret twin, who lives in the mirror, to birthday party. (Because you will be disappointed when they won’t come out of the bathroom.)
6.Jumping from a rooftop in blue tights, a cherry-red cape and yellow underpants (on the outside.). (Because you will die and your grieving family will be sued for copy-right infringement.)
7.Doing mental math on paper. (Because it is a stupid idea.)
8.Twisting a cob into your hair in an attempt to curl it. (Because it will get stuck and you will and up with a mini spike of really short hair where you had to cut it out.)
9.Squealing of joy in front of your favorite musical group. (Because you will regret not making a good impressing and getting squealy dust on their nice clothes.)
10.Holding hands with your best friend. (Because it is awkward…)
11.Using machinery in an Amish town. (Because you will be mobbed.)
12.Making a list of 12 stupid things. (Because you know you will to do those things when you are done.)
So, I love to read! One of my favorite authors has this blog And personally I think it is a really funny blog. I read it pretty much every day and she is the one who made me really want a blog. My friend Ash made one so I did, but Ally Carter really made me want to blog! I don't have much more time I need to work on my math, but that should give you something to read!
Freeport is a town the size of a pair of underpants (excuse my crude reference) so small that if you blink you WILL miss it. Freeport has four churches (Baptist, Lutheran, Episcopal and Presbyterian. One of each denomination...) an elementary school and an "area high school" (a school that severs Freeport and vicinity). You are either in town or in the country you either see cars or cows out your window. I see cows. Stinky, ugly, stupid cows. The Freeport library is closed on Sunday and they still use stamps and pens to check out books. Have you ever seen one of those pieces of paper in the front of a REALLY old library book? The ones with stamps all over them? Freeport still uses those... The computer has a notice on it that says:
NO memory sticks, (thumb drives)
NO games,
NO discs,
ABSOLUTLY NO DOWNLOADING!
Do you know what that leaves? This. Kind of... all there is to do is; sit, swim (if you have access to a pool) talk, play crochet, and swat flies. I am slowly (like everything else) dyeing of boredom. I still love a band everyone loves to hate ----The Jonas Brothers. A concert is going on out of town and I am going but with how few people are into them I think it will be a private concert. Life is sad. People are sad. I am sad that Freeport is so miserable. But it is, and that will not change. Ever. I miss Bothel and my couch and my movies and my puppy. I also miss my friends and having comments on my blog. This post is long and I hope you read it through to the end. This blog is my life and my truth and my chance to be understood. To lalaland and beyond I will go to solve my problems. Good by...
